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Pinkie's lips were dry and cracked. Her mane was a tangled, matted mess slick with sweat and body soil, and sticky in places from where she'd run her hooves through it. One of her hooves was developing a split; a little painful, but not terribly so, yet. She'd have to get it looked at once this was over. She stared bleary-eyed at the edge of the tub where her work lay, finally finished, and licked a bit of blood from a cut on her foreleg.

"It's taken every bit you've been able to save for the last three months to do this, Pinkie Pie. Three months of extra shifts, double-time parties, and… a-a little book-cooking." She bit her lip and looked away from the tub. She felt horrible about that, even if it was only for an extra bit here and there to help out. It felt wrong. It was wrong, but she needed the money. She had to hope it was worth it.

She sat alone in the empty room she'd rented from Lotus, only the huge tub and its contents for company. She'd sent Gummy away earlier; he didn't need to see this. It… it was too much. Almost too much even for her strong stomach. The smell was overpowering, sickly-sweet, with a sticky quality to it. It stuck in the nose and mouth, making everything taste like it. Pinkie took a few steadying breaths and coughed to clear her throat. "Snap out of it, Pinkie. This is what you wanted, right?"

Pinkie stared down at Twilight's picture in the photo book sitting next to her and let out a relieved sigh. It was done. Over. This whole business needed only one thing before she could go home. She drew a big 'X' over Twilight's picture in red pen. Around it were more 'X's, each one over a picture of one of her friends, or someone she knew. "Just one last…" she said, rubbing her hoof over her own picture.

She smacked her lips, then grabbed a nearby pitcher of water and drained it. She then turned to the heater below the tub and double-checked the temperature. The dial had long ago been caked over, but she knew it was still where she'd left it. It was the perfect temperature for ponies. "Alright, Pinkie. You can do this." She took another, deeper breath and let it out in a shaky, giddy exhalation, then tucked her knives back into their case and rolled it closed. She wished she had someone to share it with, now, but no one was left to share it with. This wasn't the kind of thing you shared, anyway; this was her responsibility and hers alone.

"No more waiting, Pinkie Pie… It's time to face what you've done." Three days of non-stop work; biting, sawing, stripping, slicing, shredding. Lying, conniving, hiding. Stealing. All of it done for this one perfect moment.

She pulled from a bottle of cider. Deep breathing wasn't going to steady her nerves. All it did was get more of that cloying smell caught in her lungs. She shook as the lukewarm alcohol burned dully in her stomach, using her anxiousness as fuel. "No more waiting." The words became a mantra. "Let's go." She shuffled unsteadily to her feet, exhaustion weighing on her muscles, and walked solemnly up the steps to the top of the tub. As she walked out onto the little diving board she'd set up, her heart began to hammer in her chest. Tears came to her eyes and fell onto the wood in a steady drip.


"My friends… thank you. For everything you've done for me," she sobbed, scrubbing at her face.




The ground was made of one part hot fudge, three parts caramel, and one part whipped cream. The roads were made of chocolate sprinkles carefully laid down to resemble cobblestone and dusted gently with cinnamon. Gingerbread buildings decorated with gumdrops and vanilla icing sprouted up between them, surrounded by green licorice grass. Blue gummi, heated to a liquid state, made up the lake and filled the marzipan fountain in the town square.

Rarity's boutique was a dazzling creation of licorice allsorts pulled apart and pasted together with thin layers of icing. Every single one of them had to be individually balanced to capture the fashionista's beautiful home, and she was certain that she'd done it just right. The whole thing was topped with a light dusting of powdered sugar, and a small, marshmallow Rarity sat inside the door with a smiling gummi Bon-Bon trying on her new marzipan dress, while mint imperial Lyra looked on with a bright smile on her face.

Up above, Rainbow Dash was napping in her cloudhouse made of cotton candy propped up on sugar glass, dreaming little gummi dreams about impressing the jujube Wonderbolts, who were just outside her door, debating who would get the honor of knocking on her door and inviting her to join them.

Twilight's gingerbread library sat toward the edge of the main plaza, with marshmallow leaves covering the upper branches. Princess Celestia, a miniature version anyway, was curled up with Twilight on the balcony and reading a book to a napping Spike made of pressed grape puree. Twilight's horn sparkled with dewdrop bits of sugar, and was nestled against Celestia's almond marzipan breast.

Sweet Apple Acres was a sprawling expanse of caramel and fudge, with chocolate trees scattered thickly across the lot. Winona, a wine gum, was barking at marshmallow chickens and cows. Applejack and Big Mac, a pair of candied apples carved into their likenesses, were struggling to pull a caramel Caramel out of a caramel mudhole he'd fallen into.

The Candy Cutie Mark Crusaders, along with raspberry Snips and blackberry Snails, were chasing each other through the middle of town. The boys were trying to catch the girls, who had stolen their homework and were carrying it in their mouths. Mayor Mare and Miss Cheerilee, both wine gums made with aged brandy and port respectively, were tearing after them, trying to stop them from running into Old Sweepy's chocolate mousse fertilizer cart and knocking it over onto a bickering treacle tart Trixie and gummi Gilda.

Fluttershy was snuggled in among a mob of tiny marshmallow bunnies, all trying to get at the tiny bundle of candy-coated carrots in her mouth. She was trying to patiently hand them out, but they were being stolen one by one by the hungry horde. Her house, behind her, was a green-frosted mound of fudge and brownie with a cupcake center. A lone maraschino sat inside, presided over by marshmallow Angel.

Sugarcube Corner was made out of pure sugar, with each layer beautifully crafted to resemble her home in intimate detail. The windows were also made of sugar glass, and were framed by mint icing. The Cakes, made of angel food, were busily preparing more confections inside, with powdered sugar 'flour' everywhere.
Above it all sat the Moon, carved out of a single white jawbreaker. Luna danced across its pockmarked surface, her licorice hooves tapping along a crater. Her hair billowed around her in ethereal waves of finely spun sugar as a pecan fudge Dr. Whoof twirled her in circles.


"It's… it's so beautiful!" cried Pinkie through a smile that brushed her ears. "I almost didn't think I could do it. But I did, and it's, it's beyond words." She plucked a small pink gummi pony out of her hair and placed it gently on top of Sugarcube Corner. "There. Now it's complete." She sat down and dabbed at her eyes with a rag.

Pinkie Pie could feel all the energy she'd spent over the last three days rushing back to her, banishing her exhaustion and bringing color back to her cheeks. Her smile crooked at the edges as she surveyed the candy model of Ponyville. All this work, for One. Perfect. Moment. Rearing up on her hindlegs, she beat her hooves against her chest and leapt off of the end of the diving board. She hung in mid-air for a half-second; long enough to give her one last look at her doomed creation before she landed, and let out a primal bellow she'd learned from watching some of Twilight's old monster movies.


"I AM PINKIEZILLA!"
Part 4 of the Secret Tub Fun series! Now with 100% more Pinkie Pie!

Pinkie Pie's time has come. Everything she's worked for, everything she's sacrificed, has come to a head. She's finished off every pony else in Ponyville. The only one left is her.
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:iconbonesatellite:
BoneSatellite Featured By Owner May 22, 2012
What an ending. At least it was 100% Pinkie Pie.

From now on, whenever I think of Trixie, I will think of a treacle tart.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner May 23, 2012
Not a bad thing to think about, except now I want one.
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:iconbookishdelight:
BookishDelight Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2012   Writer
So I've been running around pony fandom for a week and a lightbulb went on in my head which said I should get back to reading these

Short but literally sweet! I had a feeling there was darkfic-parody afoot, but I did NOT see Pink Godzilla coming, and there's always room for tokusatsu references in my universe! You do a great job of building up the suspense until the last second, allowing the final sentence to be the proverbial balloon-popping pin.

...of course, a year-plus later, with Season 2 almost over, this is now so in character for Pinkie it almost appears mundane. :D Still excellent, though.
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2012
Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. New glasses take a while to get used to.

It's great to hear you're working through the rest of the series! Hopefully by the time you finish the rest, I'll have the rewrite of STF 1 finished and ready for you, too. :)

This was meant to parody 'Cupcakes', or its aftermath, or whatever, way back when 'Cupcakes' was still a thing, and was a straight up hoot to write, especially the last line. Though, I had wanted to end it differently, to sync up with my proposed ending for 12, but I like this one a lot more!

But I'm babbling. Thank you for reading! :D
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:iconbookishdelight:
BookishDelight Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2012   Writer
No worries on all counts!

I've never read Cupcakes; only heard the lore. Paid my dues with terrible shockfic back in the early 00s and I have no interest in doing so again. But I will always condone well-done satire of such material. :D
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012
Ehehe. I remember those early shockfics. Somehow I keep falling for them.
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:iconhaissan:
Haissan Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
oh wow, something like that, just for her to live out that one fantasy...remarkable
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Pinkie's a driven gal.
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:iconrowan193:
Rowan193 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
I saw the description, and thought "Okay, that's to make me think it's a Cupcakes thing. It's not going to be that, there's no need to panic"

A third of the way in, I was terrified.

I got better.
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:iconmanzo1239:
Manzo1239 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012
this was so fucking adorable and fits pinkie's personality perfectly. You sir are an artist
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012
Ehehe, thanks!
Reply
:iconjoeyh3:
joeyh3 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This was just pure, concentrated awesomeness! You just can't help but love Pinkie for how adorably random she is!
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012
I love writing for Pinkie Pie. And not in her normal babbling rants that go on forever. But in the kinds of things a Pinkie Pie would do.

Like this. :D

Pinkie is my favorite~
Reply
:iconintricatebindings:
IntricateBindings Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012
*faints from overload of Pinkie awesomeness*
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2012
*fans with notes from STF 10*
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:iconwaypointbravo:
WaypointBravo Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011
Pinkie Pie, you beautiful troll XD
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011
:D
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:iconthanos-san:
Thanos-san Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh Sweet Celestia, this is perfect xD
I have no words for how perfect this is xD This is EXACTLY something she'd do xD
The only thing is that Rarity should've been a marshmallow. xD
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
I think I might go back in and edit that. ...yup.
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:iconthanos-san:
Thanos-san Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
=D
Glad I am making a difference xD
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
Done, aaaand, edited.
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:iconthe-mirader:
The-Mirader Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2011
Rarity is a gummi I thought she was supposed to be a marshmallow lol great story it was hilarious
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:iconroxor128:
Roxor128 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
At first I thought it was going to be grimdark and was expecting the sugar Ponyville to be revealed to be the delusional last dreams of a dying Pinkie.

The actual ending, however... All I can say is: "Didn't See That Coming".
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2011
Success! :D
Reply
:iconvaguelycreepy:
VaguelyCreepy Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011  Student General Artist
I won't lie; I'm getting a little sick of "Cupcakes" references. For this, though, even that doesn't matter. Perfectly Pinkie. It's just a pity she's the only one who'd ever get to see it.
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011
Don't be too certain~ There's four more Tub Funs left. One of which is Luna's.

Also, this was written way back when, when Cupcakes hadn't quite palled.
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:iconvaguelycreepy:
VaguelyCreepy Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011  Student General Artist
....Why does Luna know what's going on in Pinkie's tub?

Also, this is so silly, but I only just now realized why Pinkie was so unkempt at the start - she hadn't bathed in three days! Seriously, how did something like that slip by me?

And no worries about the Cupcakes thing - that was really more of a general statement (and to be honest, I haven't actually read it yet). If anything, at least you were able to make something creative out of it. Most of the time, it's something like "OMG, Pinkie's crazy, stabby stabby blood-splatter!" It's like hearing a song too much on the radio - even if the song's great (which this story may or may not be, I try to reserve judgement), you just get sick of it after a while.
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:iconpinkstarmlp:
PinkstarMLP Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011  Student General Artist
have you ever read silent ponyville its a very good story tha uses the cupcakes fanfic it has a sad ending but pinkie pie is not a killer in it you should read it here is link :[link]
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:iconvaguelycreepy:
VaguelyCreepy Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Student General Artist
I've not yet read it, but it is on my list of fics to be read. Thanks for the link all the same. :)
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2011
It isn't. 'Cupcakes' is just badly done gorn meant to get a rise out of the reader. It managed that much, but failed everywhere else. Oh well. It gave me fodder for this, at least.

I'm afraid you'll have to wait until STF 12 to find out why Luna is watching Pinkie in the tub~
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:iconvaguelycreepy:
VaguelyCreepy Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2011  Student General Artist
Can't grow pretty flowers without fertilizer! :iconawesomefaceplz:


Blast! Cliffhanger'd again! :shakefish:
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2011
Hehehe. I'll reveal all then, with luck.
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:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Worry about Grimdark beginning.
Revel in the intracate beauty of candy Ponyville.
Suddenly PinkieZilla.
Laughter was had by all, especially me.
Thank you for making my day.
:)
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011
o/~ Up from the depths, 30 apples high!
Siiiiinging songs, her head in the clouds!
PINK-ZILLAAAAA. PINK-ZILLAAAAAAA. o/~

Now I've got myself imagining what Pinkzuki would look like. V:
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:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Pinkazoid! Pinkazoid!
I saw that somewhere.....
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
4chan has it a lot, as does Ponychan and FiMchan.

Most of the pony places do, since it's absolute gold. :D
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:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:D
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:iconxlucine:
Xlucine Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011
Me gusta. that last sentence cracked me up, I was expecting a giant cupcake or something , and then I thought she'd just make a model -although I don't blame her, who wouldn't do that if they had the chance? XD I really enjoyed it, my favorite so far out of the secret tub fun series - very slight niggle though, I really doubt cider would "burn dully in her stomach", unless ponies have a lower tolerance for alcohol than I thought...
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011
Or she'd had a lot of it and very little to eat. Or it's especially hard cider. And ponies probably do have a lower tolerance, being so itty bitty.

itty witty bitty ponies~ so cute~
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:icondesertredv023:
DesertRedV023 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
absolute magic <3
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
Thank you, sir. :)
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:iconarcangelv1:
ArcAngelV1 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
I started reading and thought "Sweet, another fic like Cupcakes," then I get near the end and revert to my usual reaction to most things Pinkie... oooooookaaaay then.
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
Ehehehe. I figured she wasn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. But I wanted to save the really nasty things for Celestia and Luna. The main six are just too cute to have horrible things happen. Even Rainbow's was more neglect and an overbearing father, rather than something gruesome like it could have been.
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:iconscorchedwing:
scorchedwing Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
Wow, this one had my eyes tearing up until the final paragraph - which made me laugh. Beautiful work!
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
Thank you so much. :D
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:iconlegendofcarbon:
LegendofCarbon Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
Oh pinkie, she knows how to live.
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
If anyone does, Pinkie does.
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:iconlordlyhour:
lordlyhour Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2011
Ya just KNOW she's going to do it again sometime. Probably for one of her kids, If she ever has one. Or maybe as a Birthday Present for Princess Luna. (i can just imagine Pinkie Baking a massive Cake and using it to do a canterlot Mockup. Of course, The cake will Contain one very confuzzled Timepony, Probably Giftwrapped. The cake will be spring loaded and voice activated, so when They finish singing Happy birthday, Dr whooves will be launched out onto her lap)
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011
Oh my~ Luna would be blushing up a storm. Celestia would ask if she could take him if Luna didn't want him, and Luna would grab him fiercely and shake her head, getting cake all over.

Following would be a very tense, awkward night, possibly with Pinkie Pie peeping from the window.
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:iconlordlyhour:
lordlyhour Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011
DW:...Umm, Where Am I? *sniff sniff* Why do I smell the Remains of Chloroform? ...Am I covered in cake? What the Heck is going on? *looks around* Oh, Hello Your Majesty. I appear to be on your lap, Covered in cake. Theres probably a very good reason This stae of affairs has come about, but for the life of me I can't figure it out. I'll go shower, then Investigate this mystery.
Pinkie: You Have to eat the Piece of cake Served to you, On the dish On which its served No matter the manner its served in! Rule 34 of Party throwing!
Luna: *blush*
Celestia:"I'll have your "Cake" if you're not hungry Luna"
Luna: *blink blink* *cling*
DW: "Hang on a momen- *ka teleported out in mid word by Luna*
Pinkie: Pinkiezilla Cupie Strikes Again! Now, Off to Luna's Secret Doctor Whooves Shrine/Lovenest!

Celestia Stikes me as being more likely to be interested in Big Mac, IMO. How she'd fit HIM into a Something Shaped Gift is beyond me. Maybe A Giant Apple Pie With an Equestrian map on top?
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