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"You have my word." Twilight Sparkle put her hoof over her heart and looked solemnly at Rarity. "Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend." She nodded quickly. Despite the weirdness of the person she'd learned it from, it was sound advice, and she'd taken it to heart. She opened her mouth to speak again.

"FOREVEEEER." Pinkie Pie burst out of the sponge bucket by her leg and glared daggers at Twilight. Rarity didn't seem to notice, having long since tuned out the pink pony's strangeness.


------------------------------------------------------------


"Oh Pinkie Pie… You are so random! And yet, you still follow a set of rules. True, they play fast and loose with the physics of your world, but you do still have them. You come out of left field, spout something strange but true, and disappear again, only to reappear in the next frame doing something nearly completely different. It's as if you're… more enlightened than the average pony."

Two men in clown masks looked at eachother, then at the back of the purple-suited clown standing in front of the electronics store window. They shook their heads and bit their lips, knowing better than to interrupt the Joker when he began a monologue.

"Well you could say enlightened," the Joker began as he turned to pace in front of the window. "But then you'd be all serene and sermons and serenity, not like what you are." He turned and fixed a yellow eye on the masked goons with him. "What do you think, gentlemen? Is our pretty pink pony enlightened, or just crazy?"

They swallowed and looked at anything but their boss. "Uhh… well…"

"Well, come on. Let's hear it." The Joker folded his arms and turned to face them squarely.

"Well, ya see boss, it's like this… We uh, we don't actually watch My Little Pony." The first slowly raised his briefcase in front of his face.

Joker turned to the second, who'd been scooting behind a nearby car. "Well, what about you? Surely you must have seen an episode or two. What's your take on Pinkie Pie, hmm?"

The goon clown sweated profusely behind his mask and tugged his collar open. "Uh, b-boss? It's, uh, fo-for little girls, ya know? We ai-ain't exactly little girls…"

Both goons cringed as Joker's eyebrow drifted higher on his corpse-white forehead. "Hmmm… I suppose it is a bit much to expect two such hardened criminals as yourselves to enjoy the wonders of magical technicolor ponies." He shrugged and turned around. "Oh well, night is young and all that. Plenty of time to educate you both." He chuckled and put his hands on his hips. "But you know, Mrs. Faust really has done a bang-up job on this; her and all those wonderful people who work for her!"

"Yeah but… it's still for little girls, right?" The first, suddenly realizing his mistake, crouched down behind his briefcase.

Joker barely acknowledged him, instead watching the ponies on the TV screen in front of him prance around with an enigmatic smile on his face. "True, but I remember the first time I watched this show. I laughed so hard I was nearly sick! But no one was hurt, and nothing was broken. Not one iota of suffering went into dragging a laugh out of me. I, dare I say it, I even 'd'awwwed' once or twice." He spun on his heel and fixed his thugs with a beaming grin. "Think of it! A show so wonderfully innocent and pure, so beautifully sweet without falling into saccharine, that it gets a laugh even out of me!"

The two mooks peeked out from behind their hiding places and looked at eachother, then at the ponies on the screen. "They are pretty cute, heh," said the second. "Especially the yellow one."

Joker looked over his shoulder. "Fluttershy, you mean? My friends, though it pains me to say it, I would almost give up crime, give up chasing Batman, even give up my purple suit just to see her smile." He sighed and turned his face to the overcast sky, a look of pure joy on his cracked and weathered face.

The first raised a hand. "So… we ain't gonna knock over that ban—AAAGH!" A ragged cry of pain tore from his lungs as a knife embedded itself in his hand, pinning it to the briefcase.

"I said 'ALMOST'! Now get up and get the van moving again! And you!" he spun on the second goon as the first scrambled to comply. "I see you making eyes at Fluttershy again; I'll make you wish you'd never been born!" He kicked at him until he started moving, then looked over his shoulder.

"Those wonderful cartoon ponies… Ah! I see what it is now, Pinkie is enlightened! Enlightened to the fact that she's a cartoon! Hah! Why didn't I think of that sooner?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and whistled as he strolled into the waiting van.


---------------------------------------


High above, on a roof overlooking the electronics store, a shadowy figure glared down at the Joker's van as it sped away. Rubber creaked as his brows knotted. The figure took a step backward and tugged his night-black cape around him, covering the stylized bat symbol on his chest.

"Now I know The Joker's crazy," growled Batman. He reached into a pocket of his belt and curled his hand around a small piece of purple plastic. He raised it to his stubbled cheek and nuzzled it lightly, the other hand slowly petting its mane.

"Everypony knows Twilight Sparkle is the best."
A fun little piece that's been kicking around the back of my head for a while now. Just something I wanted to put down on e-paper while I worked on Secret Tub Fun 7.5.
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:iconspacecommie:
Spacecommie Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
me again, dragged in by EQD, I totally saw this all in TAS format and enjoyed every second of it, you are wonderful, thankyou.
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Thank you for the compliment!
Reply
:iconbookishdelight:
BookishDelight Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011   Writer
...I think I love you right now.

(For the record, Cesar Romero and Adam West's voices indeed work beautifully for this as well. ^_^)
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
Ooooo. I'm gonna have to find out what those sound like.

*A Few Minutes Later*

Oh man they totally do. It switches up the dynamic of everything. This is awesome!
Thank you, Ms. Delight! :D
Reply
:iconbonesatellite:
BoneSatellite Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Okay, the entire story was amusing, but that very last sentence nearly caused me to asphyxiate myself.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
:D
Reply
:iconpopehatskeleton:
PopeHatSkeleton Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
I read it once in Heath Ledger's Joker voice and then again in Mark Hamill's. I liked the second one better.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2011
Me too. <:E

Though Mr. DiMaggio also did a very good Joker.
Reply
:iconmalanaks:
malanaks Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No love for Nicholson?
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Eh. He was alright. I didn't care for it too much, though. Nicholson's better at doing other things than comic book villains.
Reply
:iconanzul:
anzul Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Student General Artist
hahahahahahahahaha, you sir are a genius!!
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011
Thank you, kind sir! :D
Reply
:iconanzul:
anzul Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2011  Student General Artist
=D
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
:D
Reply
:iconjasonshadow:
JasonShadow Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2011
This was great. But I'd hate to see what would happen if the Joker saw "Party of One", but missed the ending... I doubt it would turn out well for anyone involved.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011
Would Joker start using Pinkie Gas on people and giving them pony grins?
Reply
:iconformorian5:
formorian5 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2011
I've not read a single piece of literature with Pinkie Pie in it that makes even an iota of sense. It's as if her mere presence makes things stranger.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2011
I think she does this intentionally.
Reply
:iconmeowthrocket:
MeowthRocket Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2011
I'd say the Joker echoes my sentiments to a T!
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011
He is eerie like that sometimes.
Reply
:iconfuror1:
furor1 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
If I weren't at work, I'd be laughing so hard right now. Awesome story :icontwilightclapplz:
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, but I hope you don't get in trouble for reading it. Maybe try again at home?
Reply
:iconfuror1:
furor1 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, no one really cares about what I do here and I'm the only one working on my project, so they can't fire me that easily. But thanks for you concern.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2011
That's good, at least. Good luck with the job, even so. I'm glad you enjoyed it, if I haven't said that already.
Reply
:iconroxor128:
Roxor128 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow. This makes an amazing amount of sense, and I'm not particularly familiar with the Batman franchise to begin with.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011
Why thank you. :D I tried to stay as true as I could to the characterizations while still involving silly ponies. Which are silly.
Reply
:iconmadman12000:
madman12000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
Ahahahaa. Batman literally has everything on his utility belt. And a contingency plan if it fails. Bats and Joker both bronies though - here there be madness. Great story.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
Thank ya! I'm pretty sure he has a pocket for every pony. He just uses the Twilight Sparkle Pocket the most, because she's the best.
Reply
:iconjemima2050:
Jemima2050 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
O wow. I can actually see this happening . . .
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
Joker talking about ponies? Or Batman being a brony?
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:iconjemima2050:
Jemima2050 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
BOTH. :D
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:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
Hee. :D
Reply
:iconmarrockv:
MarrockV Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2011
Ok, how weird is it that I heard this all in my head in Mark Hamil's and Kevin Conroy's voices?
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
It was written in John DiMaggio's voice, but Hamill and Conroy also work well.
Reply
:iconmarrockv:
MarrockV Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011
Well, the original animated series was my favorite, so I tend to gravitate towards that when I need headvoices to add to something Batman related.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
Me too! But 'Under the Red Hood' really got to me, especially its portrayal of the Joker. DiMaggio's voice works really well for him.
Reply
:iconmarrockv:
MarrockV Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
I actually haven't seen that yet, I need to rectify that.
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011
It's a great movie. I highly recommend it. For the Joker alone it would be worth watching, but the story is good, and the characterization perfect.

Also, Neil Patrick Harris as Nightwing.
Reply
:icondelta-pangaea:
Delta-Pangaea Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist
Twilight Poni is best Poni.

Batman says so. Dare you argue with the god-damn BATMAN? I thought not.

Top shelf.
Reply
:iconlordflutterguy:
LordFlutterguy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011
i would think the bat man would have sympathy for luna
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2011
Of course! Just because Twilight is his favorite doesn't mean he doesn't like Luna, too.

Just that Twilight is the best.
Reply
:iconmaximillianveers:
MaximillianVeers Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is the sort of insane stuff the fandom really needs.

Bravo, sir. :D
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011
*bows low, hand on his middle* Thank ye, thank ye. I hope you enjoyed!
Reply
:icononua694:
onua694 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2011
:D
Reply
:icondavesknd:
Davesknd Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
Why can I see Alfred polishing the vast collection of figures, hidden behind the family-porcelain, going "Where have I gone wrong?".
LOVED IT!
Reply
:icondavesknd:
Davesknd Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2011
Days later, Scarecrow holds the city in his fearsome grip. He is stopped, when Batman charges him with the words "When I was a little filly and the sun was going do-oooown..."
Reply
:iconapocalypticdusk:
ApocalypticDusk Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011
OH GOD xD
If I could favorite comments...
Ahahahahaha~
Reply
:iconlawn-pygmy:
Lawn-Pygmy Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2011
And then he sees Master Bruce has left a video window open on the Bat-Computer, with an episode of My Little Pony on it. He decides to see what has entranced Master Bruce so.

Batman comes home later to see Alfred wearing a Rainbow Dash tie. They brohoof.
Reply
:iconcatholic-deviant:
catholic-deviant Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
nice lulz XD
Reply
:iconkind-but-naive-king:
Kind-But-Naive-King Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2011
Mark Hamill needs to do this :3
Reply
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